Getting Raw

I am incredibly touched by the compassion and love that I received from so many since my first journal entry on Monday about my going through a divorce. I am overwhelmed with how so many of us who are hurting. So many texts, emails, Facebook & Instagram messages from women and even men reaching out to me about their struggles with divorce or struggles in their marriage. I had to charge my phone 3 times that day as I tried to respond as quickly as I could to each of you. That night I laid in bed as tears ran down my face thinking of each of you. Some of you I know personally, some of you I do not. And some, I have not seen in so many years. A few I have the privilege of having a face to the name, for those I do not hopefully one day I will. But know your names are all now in a journal, which I decided to call my prayer journal so that I may pray over you as you are praying over me. I hope to have the book filled with more names and I can hold on to my little blue book while I pray over it.

The song, “Sinking Deep”, that I shared on Monday was not a song I had ever heard before. Pandora’s Hillsong United Station was on while I was writing that post when “Sinking Deep” started to play. Something about the song made me stop and listen. Really listen. You know there are so many songs that kind of slip by, we may like the tune or the verse is catchy but we don’t really know the words. But at times there will be a song, christian or secular that just makes me really listen to the words. And "Sinking Deep" was a song that made me stop typing, close my eyes and just listen. My 10 year old daughter said something the other morning that stuck with me. So every morning on our way to school we listen to Houston’s KSBJ Christian Radio. And if it is not on when I start the car, she quickly asks me to “put on KSBJ mommy”. This particular morning she said, “Mommy I love hearing christian music to start my day. It makes me feel like it is going to be a good day.” Oh wow, is she right. It fills your soul. If you are not doing that every morning I encourage you to do it. Your problems may still be there at the end of the day, but at least you have your suit of armor to help you make it through another day.

A popular comment I heard from many is how much it was appreciated that I was “raw” and “real” on my blog post. Some shared about feeling so ashamed and chose to keep it a secret from as many people as possible. Others shared the struggles that they had either gone through or are currently experiencing in their marriages. It saddened me to think how many women are out there feeling lonely and shame. Please know you are not alone. And I began to realize so many of us feel that way because of the “perfect” appearances that are shared on social media. The “Happy Birthday to the best husband in the whole world”, the “Happy anniversary honey. These 15 years have been the best of my life”. And I’m in no way discrediting happy marriages or these beautiful posts but what if…what if we put it out a “raw” post on social media? What if instead of posting the pretty picture with the happy words, we posted something raw about our marriages. Marriages are a hard topic to touch. You talk and share about the happy moments, but we do not talk and share about our struggles. So what if the happy couple posted something real like “Chad and I are having some struggles in our marriage. Would you please pray for us?”. Or “Chad and I just went to our first couple’s therapy. Man it sucked, but we are going to stick through it. Pray for us.” Can you imagine the gasps and omg’s!! Kind of makes me giggle, BUT what I’m getting at is there will be at least ONE person thinking “ husband and I are not the only ones having problems. Maybe I can seek some advice from her”. Or if you are going through a divorce or got divorced - post it! “I got divorced 2 months ago, taking one day at a time. Needing some prayers”. No more shame, no more feeling alone! When you share, others will be willing to share too and I bet some will want to reach out and share with you as well.  Let’s start a tag: #sinkingdeepfashionrowe. Post and tag! We need to help each other ladies and hold each other up!

Thank you to each and every one of you for reaching out to me with your kind words and support. Thank you to those who got personal and shared with me about their struggles. If you would like to be added to my prayer list, please let me know! And if there is someone you know who is going through a hard time as well, please pass on. We’ve got this ladies!

A million hugs!

Elvira Graham is a fashion, beauty, and lifestyle blogger. Fashion, traveling, spending time with family, and supporting her favorite local charities are a few of her passions. She's known for bringing style and trends to her community, and enjoys sharing her trends for fashion and beauty tips with the blogging community. Contact Elvira or follow along on Facebook here